Create Empowering Beliefs in 5 Steps

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Introduction

Recently I have been reminded of the power of belief and how it shapes our lives. What we believe can affect our health, our careers, our relationships...everything in our lives. Some of our beliefs are shaped by forces outside of ourselves - our parents, our community, television, the internet. Some of these beliefs are empowering and positive - beliefs about God and our positive values. Some of these beliefs are limiting and detrimental - misconceptions based on the experiences of others which may not align with reality. Fortunately, we have some control over which beliefs we choose to adopt. In this post, we will talk about how we can analyze our beliefs and strategically choose which beliefs we utilize and leverage to create a more fulfilling future.

Realizing the Crippling Effects of Limiting Beliefs

Years ago, early in my career as a financial planner, I believed I wasn’t worthy to manage other people’s worth. Here are a few examples of what I told myself:

“You are new in the business...you don’t know anything about finances and investments.”

“You don’t have a lot of money...how can you tell other people about what to do with their money?”

“There are other financial planners out there that have a lot more experience.”

“You don’t like selling! How can you convince other people to buy your products and services?”

I set goals, studied my products, made my sales calls. I did attain a few new clients in my first year in the business. However, these beliefs that I had accepted as reality slowly started to eat away at my motivation and discipline. I lacked confidence as I went into prospective client appointments. The lack of confidence showed and few prospects decided to join my practice as clients. I realized that I was trying to sell them something that I didn’t believe in myself - ME!

A Conversation that Changed The Course of My Career

One day, I was having a review appointment with one of my clients. At the end of the appointment she said to me, “Working with you has been the best decision in my life!” Wow! At the time, I still felt I was too new and didn’t know enough to be worthy of my clients’ business. However, after hearing that one sentence, I started to reexamine those beliefs - which really were assumptions I had made.

So I started to look at what I was doing for my clients. I started to see that I was inspiring them to save for their futures and protect their families with insurance. I helped them to make prudent and wise decisions that would impact their future. I realized that my work had value, and that I had value to offer people!

When I started to realize this, a few things happened very quickly. I started to make more calls to prospective clients. I became more confident when asking for business. I approached my studying and training with more vigor because I knew that what I learned could be used to help my clients. In short, I removed the shackles of my limiting beliefs that were holding me back. Shackles that I put on myself, but didn’t realize I also had the key to remove them.

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Strengthening my Beliefs

Some of these changes in my beliefs were unintentional. However, once I started to realize how they affected my life, I started to proactively and deliberately examine and change my beliefs for the better. Here is a simple process that you can use to become aware of your beliefs, and identify and change the ones that do not serve you.

Step #1: Identify Your Beliefs

A simple and fundamental step is to identify your beliefs. On a piece of paper or even better in your journal, just take some time and write down what you believe. Don’t think about them too much, just write them down. Here are some questions to help you brainstorm:

1. What are your beliefs about God?
2. What are your beliefs about your future?
3. What do you believe about your relationships?
4. What do you believe about creating income or wealth?
5. What do you believe about being healthy?
6. What do you believe about your impact on the people around you?
7. Does what you do in your daily life matter to others?

Step #2: Identify Your Empowering Beliefs

Take the list you just made and circle or mark the ones that are empowering. These are the ones that motivate you to take action and make you feel good. Here are some of my empowering beliefs:

• God has created me for a special purpose.
• My work helps my clients to live better lives.
• My children are a blessing.
• My body is a gift (and I want to take care of that gift)
• No matter what mistakes I’ve made in the past, I can do better today.
• God forgives me for all of my mistakes.
• I can control my thoughts and actions to improve my life and the lives of those around me.
• I can learn what I need to learn to reach my goals.

What are your empowering beliefs?

Step #3: Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

Now look at the beliefs on your list that are limiting. It isn’t necessarily that the belief is not true, but often it may be a misperception of a truth. In general, limiting beliefs are those that limit the possibilities in your life based on information that isn't fully accurate. They drain you of energy, motivation, and drive. Some of these beliefs that have limited me in the past include:

• I don’t deserve the good things in my life.
• I don’t know enough to be of value to my clients.
• I keep screwing up because I’m not good.
• Money/Being wealthy is bad.

Limiting beliefs hinder your progress because they are demotivating. They cause you to have less energy and to take less action.

Step #4: Reframe or Replace Your Limiting Beliefs

I have noticed that my limiting beliefs often have root in a mistake I’ve made or in a misperception of reality I’ve received either through another person (like parents or friends). Oftentimes, people who have good intentions may often implant a limiting belief by what they convey. For example, imagine the effect the following phrases would have on a child, "No matter how hard you work, you'll be average" or "People who are successful must have gotten lucky" or "All wealthy people are greedy." Think about that as you communicate with your children.

Fortunately, we can often correct these beliefs by reframing them or replacing them with a new, more empowering belief. Using the list from the previous section, let’s see how we can reframe or replace those beliefs:

• I don’t deserve the good things in my life. This particular belief implies that we are not in control of the things that come into our lives, like our relationships or possessions. A more accurate or empowering belief might be: I bring good things into my life through my actions.
• I don’t know enough to be of value to my clients. I had this at the beginning of my career. I started to realize that even though I didn’t know a lot, I often knew a lot more about how to invest wisely or handle finances responsibly than the clients I was seeing. Also, besides the knowledge I also brought the compassion and objectivity that my clients need to reinforce their prudent financial decisions. I reframed this belief as follows: I can be a resource for my clients and learn what I need to know to serve them.
• I keep screwing up because I’m not good. Here, I had to realize that my mistakes were individual choices and decisions - bad ones in these cases - but not a sign of my inherent goodness or badness. I replaced this particular belief with two empowering beliefs: God made me for a special purpose and I can improve my decisions and choices.
• Money is bad. I had the misinterpretation that money and being wealthy was greedy. However, I challenged this belief through all of the good that people do with money. For example, the money my parents are able to donate to their church or the money people use to create jobs through businesses. I realized that money wasn’t bad inherently, but that the attachment to money can be detrimental. Often people misquote the Bible when they say, “Money is the Root of Evil.” The actual quote reads, “The Love of money is the root of all sorts of evil.” It is the love of money above others and God that is the problem! My beliefs now include Money is a tool that can be used for good and Money and wealth is a gift from God that I must steward responsibly.

Step #5: Perform Regular Maintenance

After these first four steps, your beliefs should be more healthy and empowering for you. Hopefully, you have become charged with energy from new empowering beliefs. However, I’ve noticed at least in my life that you need to revisit your beliefs occasionally and make sure that nothing limiting or negative has crept in. I enjoy the analogy of the Garden of the Mind. We must regularly cultivate and maintain that garden.

Conclusion and Challenge

You can learn all of the skills and techniques you need to reach your most important goals and dreams. However, your success and progress will only go as far as you believe you can. Our beliefs are often influenced by experiences that we may not be aware of. I challenge you to take at least one of your limiting beliefs today and develop a plan to reframe or replace it! Then share your new empowering belief with me here. God bless you in your endeavors.